Background

I have been raised in a Catholic family and attended Catholic schools for 17 years. I was aware of religious sisters at a young age and always tried to be open to a vocation to religious life. I went to college and found a major that I loved and was good at: accounting. I landed an awesome job at a Big 4 Accounting Firm and started on a career path. I traveled, worked long hours, and loved my job. I lived with a friend in a great apartment in a fun part of town.  My life was perfect but something seemed to be missing. I started feeling this call to go to daily Mass. I am absolutely not a morning person and was always scrambling to get out the door to make it to work at a reasonable time, so I couldn't fathom getting up earlier to make it to Mass. I had good intentions when I went to bed, but only got out of bed early enough a few times. About 6 months later I took a monthlong sabbatical from my job to study for the CPA exam. I started going to Mass more frequently because I had a more flexible schedule (I could sleep until 11 and still make it to Mass-glorious!). When I allowed my heart to be silenced and entered into the mystery of the Eucharist, I started to experience God on a deeper level and it was easier to hear His voice. It was through Jesus present in the Eucharist that I started to feel called to religious life. A lot of people have asked me what that calling feels like. It's not easy to explain, but I would say that it was weird and gradual. Because God knows me so intimately, He knew that I would need plenty of time to adjust to the idea and fully respond to His will. I can't imagine Mary's fiat when she agreed to be the mother of Christ with no hesitation!  For me, it was kind of just a gut feeling that this was what I was supposed to do. At times it made me feel physically sick to my stomach because I absolutely did not want to be a sister. I made lists of all the reasons it would be horrible, all the things I would have to give up and all the ways I could propose to God that would probably be a better way to serve him than as a sister (ha!). But despite all of that, there was something attracting me to the religious life. I would find myself looking at websites of different orders when I was supposed to be studying, staring at nuns at Mass, praying more about my vocation.

I kept this feeling a secret and finally told my family about four months later. At that point life became a whirlwind of visiting different communities, meeting with my new spiritual director, answering questions, and trying to discern God's will. I visited four separate communities and there were two that I wanted to visit again. Over time and through prayer, I heard God say, "You will serve me beautifully in either community you are considering, but I want you to be a Sister of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration." I have such an attraction to perpetual adoration which has been fostered in my own parish's perpetual adoration chapel. And the order that I am entering is so joyful; from the first time I visited I have felt a sense of belonging in the community. Throughout my whole discernment, God has provided for me in every way. He must know how quickly I would give up if it wasn't easy!  One of the beautiful blessings God has given me this summer is time away with my family. I have always struggled (and still do) with why religious life requires such separation from family. I know that it will allow me to enter fully into an intimate and personal relationship with my Lord and that God will provide the grace, but it is still my biggest fear. With these two weeks of vacation, God is providing time to just be with my family. It's a trip that I'm sure we would never have done if I was not entering the convent and it is just another example of the abundant blessings God is pouring out on the Hoefers!