Detachment

As a Catholic School girl, I wore uniforms for 13 years and I loved every minute of it. While my sister mourned the fact that she couldn't wear her sparkly, pink dresses to grade school, I viewed uniforms as a way to make my life easier. When I woke up just before the carpool arrived, it was a blessing that I could just throw on that plaid skirt with no decision making required.

My third grade uniform.  I'm the blond one in the jumper. 
This was the day my dad brought insects into school!

When I got my first internship, I realized that after all my years of uniforms and wearing sweatpants and hoodies to class in college (it was an all women's school-no need to dress up!), I had no business casual clothes to make it through the summer. When I walked into The Limited one afternoon in May, I discovered that I love shopping.  Fast forward five years and I now have a closet of full of clothes and shoes that I no longer need.

Life in the convent is pretty simple even for the younger sisters who haven't yet made a vow of poverty.  When I was accepted to the community, I received a packing list that among other things included the following:

Sunday shoes on the left and everyday shoes on the right. 

• Three pairs of shoes, all black with no markings
• One pair sandals, all black
• Seven white button down long sleeve shirts
• Seven white V-Neck undershirts
• Panty-hose or thigh-highs
• Robe (simple, modest)
• Slips
• Shoe Polish
• Stationary, Stamps
• A few personal items (pictures, statutes, etc)
• A few hobby items
• Rosary, Bible, Catechism

It was actually more than I expected to be able to bring, but a much more limited list of material things than I typically use in a day.  At first, it was quite challenging to get rid of things.  I have never really thought of myself as a worldly person, but there are so many memories associated with each of my things.  And without intending to, I tied my identity to the things I own.  I know that the only identity that matters is that I am the daughter of God, but I will admit that oftentimes I define who I am with material things.  I am reminded of the young man in Matthew Chapter 19 who asked Jesus what he had to do to inherit eternal life.  Jesus told him to sell his things, and he left sad because he had a lot of possessions.

In this process of preparing to enter the convent, I have discovered that I was (and still am) attached to many things.  When I quit my job, I realized that I put a lot of weight on my career and that I had allowed my occupation to define me.



My shopping cart at Target on Tuesday.
What vow of poverty? ;)

Dessert from Cerulean last night. 
Eating out is another attachment I'll be giving up. 

With the challenge of giving away my things, I think buying my new things was even more difficult.  For one thing, it made my vocation feel much more real as I was taking tangible steps towards entrance, but it also reminded me of just how much of my former identify I was leaving behind.  I wasn't just giving away my favorite dress to make room in the closet for a new one, I was replacing it with clothes that I would have never been caught dead wearing prior to entrance!  While it is a challenge, this stripping away of my old self is also one of the things that is so attractive about religious life.  It allows me to focus on what really matters, which is my relationship with Christ, and it purifies me to be His bride!