The ride home from the Convent

I know many are wondering how emotional the ride home was for Gachia, Caitlin and Ray after leaving Anna at the Convent.  In a previous post, I documented our family’s penchant for crying. When we left Anna at St. Mary’s for the start of her freshman year, Gachia and Anna sobbed their goodbyes on a bench at St. Mary’s.  Gachia (and I) cried some more on the way home.  The next year when we left Caitlin at the Purdue dorm, those same emotions came back. However, bear with me while I digress before talking about the ride home and the next day.

“Get Smart” was one of my favorite television shows while I was in high school.  Maybe there just wasn’t much competition (anyone remember the “Monkees”?).  Even Anna and Caitlin got into Get Smart reruns one year.  Deep down I still long for one of Maxwell Smart’s (Agent 86) shoe phones!  But when Maxwell Smart would get into an impossible predicament with Control agents, he would often start his “Would you believe….” monologue.  For example “would you believe this building is surrounded by three platoons of my countries most elite fighting units”?  The Control agents would roll their eyes in disbelief and Maxwell would give a slightly less outlandish “would you believe”.  Eventually Maxwell Smart or Agent 99 would save the day (but Maxwell would get the credit either way).

So, would you believe we cried 1) most of the way home, 2) one-half of the way home, 3) one fourth of the way home, or 4) only a few tears were shed.  BINGO!  Shockingly it was number 4!

Why the change?  First, Anna was smiling when we left the convent (although we don’t know how long that smile stayed).  We know that is where she needs and wants to be; to continue to discern religious life with the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration. Second, we stopped and visited more with my sister Judy and husband Larry and brother Dennis and wife Kim.  We were able to relax, share stories, and bemoan the fact Bruno’s Pizza was out of almost every brand of beer requested.  Something about a football game the day before.  Those Temple fans must have been big drinkers (certainly couldn’t be the “Domers”)!  At least all agreed the pizza was good. Lastly, we knew she is in good hands with Sr. Lois and the rest of the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration.  There is plenty of emotional support available plus the Postulants will be quickly integrated into community.

We received the first letters from Anna once we got back from the reunion with Gachia's family. I’ll provide highlights in the next blog.

From accountant to gangsta rapper??

Gachia has always enjoyed buying and sending cards.  She has a knack of bringing joy to other's lives and uses cards as one way to spread that joy, love and caring.  Gachia will buy cards and sometimes use them right away.  Other times, they go into a drawer and may stay there for years until the right moment comes.

Gachia had no idea why she bought the card below when Anna was in college, but she suddenly knew this week was the time to send it to Anna.

As Anna continues her discernment journey from CPA to the convent, may she follow her dreams (and God's will).

Anna's journey from CPA to floor mopper

I have long been intrigued and attracted to the monastic practice of ora et labora or working and praying.  So, I very much enjoyed seeing the picture of Anna that Sr. Lois sent us documenting Anna's journey from CPA to floor mopper.  You've got to love that smile of Anna and the rest of the postulants as they learn the value and dignity of work, no matter how menial the task.

This lifestyle Anna is embarking on can teach us all about the dignity and holiness of work.  Just the picture above shouts so many things about work: obedience, the value of completing tasks properly, to treat each other with dignity, cheerfulness no matter how menial the task, a sense of community..... Work can be a path to holiness and spiritual growth.   

Saint Josemaria Escriva has many writings on the importance of work to holiness in community as well as the business world.  The following quote is one example.

In God's service there are no unimportant posts: all are of great importance. The importance

of the post depends on the spiritual level reached by the person filling it. (The Forge, 618). 

This is so visible in the life of the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration and in monastic communities.  There are no visible signs who is a care giver to retired sisters, who is the provincial, who is a teacher, who has a high level role within the Franciscan health network, who has a Masters in Biochemistry (hint, see the red handled mop above), or who is a CPA.  Only when you have one on one discussions do you begin to learn their current and past roles within the community.  Regardless of role or position, the Sisters smile (a lot) and are so filled with joy.         

Let's all reflect more on the importance and value of our daily tasks whether at work or at home.  And pray for those who are unemployed.

Entrance Day!!

Because the candidates families were at the convent (and it was Sunday), the Sisters got to sleep in from their normal 5:30 am start!  Our day started with Morning Prayer at 7:00 am followed by Mass at 7:30.  And I do apologize for prematurely using Postulants instead of Candidates in the last blog - I'm still a newbie. The Gospel reading was on humility.   Jesus preached humility often, and here we were in the midst of such great examples of humility, the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration!  

Following breakfast, we had free time for 2 1/2 hours!  We really had fun exploring the convent grounds.  The cemetery is a beautiful and sacred place.  The Sisters place such appropriate emphasis on the dignity of life. We spent a little quiet time at the Grotto and walked past all the convent buildings.  My only regret is we didn't sneak a peak at the Sister's swimming pool.  One of our many family laughs for the day was that when I retire I'll be their pool boy, but to be honest that actually sounds like a pretty good gig to me (Any Sisters reading this? Keep me in mind.).  Below is a picture of Caitlin and Anna near one of the Stations of the Cross sculptures in the cemetery.  Only when I posted the picture today did I realize the station was "Jesus consoles the holy women".  Gachia and I are so proud of our two holy women.  Damnation, I'm crying again to be so blessed.

Dinner brought us back to reality.  The Sisters use dinner and supper in their meal vernacular which is comforting for an old farm boy. After a nice meal, the Sisters came around to each table and served scoops of ice cream for desert to obviously "butter us up".  Then we were gently told, again table by table, they are taking the Candidates (OUR daughters and siblings), and we won't see them until the Entrance Ceremony.  To be honest, we were somewhat prepared for this, but after that ice cream experience Sisters for may want to consider marketing campaigns as a future apostolate. Below are Anna and Gachia at dinner followed by the last picture of Anna as she leaves the hallway in her secular clothing. Damnation! I'm going to lose my man card - crying again.

 

We then returned to our rooms to change clothes for the Entrance Ceremony.  Gachia, Caitlin and I were much more at peace than we envisioned (note I didn't say TOTALLY at peace).  But God's grace is GREAT! 

 

We then returned to the Hoefer Family room to greet those family and friends attending the ceremony.  What a joyful time!  Plus it kept our minds off the Entrance Ceremony.  Before we knew it, a Sister was at the door informing us the parents were to be seated.  Since three could fit in each pew, Caitlin was able to sit with us, a great comfort to both Gachia and me.

 

I was the last of our family to notice the Candidates entering (shocking, I know!!).  Caitlin took the picture of Anna genuflecting as she entered.

 

 

At 1:30 pm we recited the Midday Prayers with the Sisters.  Then Sister Angela, the Provincial, introduced the Candidates and entered them into the order as Postulants.  Six Postulants is the most who have entered the order in a single year in 40 years!  What a blessing for the 150th anniversary of the order!  In the picture below, Anna is on the right with all the Postulants in their blue jumpers and white long sleeved shirts.  What you can't see is Anna's spiffy Sunday best plain black shoes (yes, they are as stylish as allowed by the dress code). She left the last of her stylish heals and flats behind. The humility journey begins.... 

 

 

Following Benediction, the Postulants and then parents processed out of the church.  And yes, some tears were flowing.  We went to the auditorium for celebration, food, sharing, and goodbyes.  Many of the attendees also went on a tour to see the beautiful convent and gain insight into the history of the original mansion, continued to visit acquaintances, or had a chance to visit with various Sisters. 

 

This was a joyous time for Anna, as many family, personal and family friends, Priests and a college professor reminisced with her and offered her love, support and encouragement.  Anna, Caitlin, Gachia and I are all over whelmed by the out pouring of support for our collective journey.  Not only from those who attended the Entrance Ceremony, but from many more who have taken the time to write, post, comment, email, call, and offer prayers.  Thank You!  You are all in our prayers.

 

At 4:30 pm, the reception ended.  Attendees had said their goodbyes and tears were shed.  Anna, Caitlin, Gachia and I went back to the Hoefer Family room.  We enjoyed our family time for the next 40 minutes.  Were there tears?  Yes, but mostly joy and peace. Then we went to our rooms to finish packing our suitcases and proceeded to where the families' cars were parked.  We collectively said our goodbyes to the Postulants and each gave Anna a long hug (OK, I just gave up my man card). 

 

During an earlier family visit to the convent, we learned of the tradition of the white handkerchief wave.  As we left that day, the Sisters waved white handkerchiefs.  Below are pictures of the Postulants and their Sister mentors for the next year bidding us adieux until our next visit (which seems so far away).  Instead of white handkerchiefs, they were waiving with white tissues used while saying goodbye to their families. But note the smiles on their faces.

 

Anna is on the right - very glad to see the smile

The last view of the Postulants bidding adieux from Mt. Alverno

After we left, the Postulants went to Evening Prayer with the rest of the Sisters located at the Mother House. We pray that it was soothing and spiritual experience for Anna which brought her peace for the evening. The rhythm of convent life begins....

A few more pictures from the Reception:

 

The Postulants and Postulant "want to be's"

Anna with her God Parents

      

Moving Day: Another Mary and Martha Lesson?

This blog is the transition from blogger Anna to her Dad, Ray.  As those of you who have followed the blog know, Anna will not have an on-line presence during the formation process, lasting 3 years.  My first step is to communicate the excitement, tears, and blessing that occurred from Anna’s “Today is the Day” blog through the acceptance ceremony. So, initially expect quite a few blogs followed by occasional updates of her continuing journey through letters received.  I will also post pictures from our visits - set your expectations low on pictures as we have only one formal visit the rest of the year. J   

Many access this blog through Facebook.  Hopefully you received the warning that Anna has deactivated her Facebook page.  Friend Caitlin to get updates: https://www.facebook.com/people/Caitlin-Hoefer

Anna has a definite talent in communicating via the written word using compelling stories of her personal experiences and reflection.  The number of page views doubled each of her last 4 blogs.  So, keep spreading the word of Anna’s beautiful reflections of her vocation journey. 

Anna, Caitlin, Gachia and I left for Mishawaka Saturday (August 31).  Anna continued her Detachment blog in preparation for her new living arrangement at the convent.  Below is what Anna took to Mishawaka.  We have helped move Anna many times through college and her working career and can guarantee this is BY FAR the least number of items that have ever been moved.  Obviously, one does not need many things to live a full life in a convent.

One of our family traditions was to take a photo of Anna and Caitlin when they left the house the first day of each school year in grade school and high school as well as the day they left for college.  The pictures captured the excitement but also the apprehension each transition brought.  So after we packed the car, it was only natural to take a picture of Anna at the front door of the house to capture the move to the convent!

 

We got to Mishawaka early, so we stopped at the South Bend Chocolate Café in downtown South Bend for lunch and of course chocolate.  It was fun to chat, eat and sample chocolate.  We arrived at the entrance to the St Francis Convent at 3:30 pm and began the drive up the beautiful tree lined drive up the hill to “Mount Averno”.  As soon as we were getting out of the car, several Franciscans Sisters were there to warmly greet us.  We immediately took Anna’s belongings into her new home, where the postulants are housed.  Walking up the 3 flights of non-air condition stairs with Anna’s belongings to her room did make me thankful that the postulants have few things.  Anna’s room is about 7 x 11 feet which is large enough for a single bed, small desk, small armoire, and a hall tree. 

The Sisters provided guest rooms for the families of the six postulants.  Anna was given the option to spend Saturday night in her new non air conditioned room or with Caitlin in her AIR CONDITIONED and much larger guest room.  Surely spending one more night with family was the driver in her decision?  Each family was also provided a large room to relax and talk.  The “Hoefer Family” room was a very nice parlor.

This is where God provided another Martha and Mary lesson in life.  What seems to be such a simple and direct story is very rich and deep.  I admit I have only scratched the surface of understanding.  But first, let’s clarify that the detachment and ‘semi-cloistering’ which occurs the first 3 years of the formation process JUST SUCKS!!!  Even though we understand the rationale, simplicity, and even beauty of the formation process, it still sucks. But I digress (that will be probably be a future blog), back to Martha and Mary. 

The four of us settled into the Hoefer Family parlor room and soon two of us were crying, then three.…. We are a family of criers.  Yes it can be a 3 way race but we are led by our master crier Gachia, followed by Anna and then Caitlin.  Although I am not in the lead pack I do frequently get teary eyed (and yes I have shed tears writing this blog).  But why is crying in the parlor a Martha and Mary moment? Like Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus, we were sitting at each other’s feet in the parlor.  But unlike Mary, who was focused on Jesus (what was important), we were like Martha “worried and troubled by many things” that went unspoken.  When will we see each other again? Why can’t we just pick up the phone and talk?  Since Anna struggles with major transitions will she struggle adapting to the convent life?  We will miss each other so much…...  

Then we realized we were still called to be Martha.  Jesus admonished Martha for being “worried and upset” but never asked her to stop serving.  Our role was not to worry about what will come tomorrow, but to interact with the other postulants, their families, and the Sisters, to serve each other collectively in our time of transition. God (and the Sisters) provided a wonderful evening of food, community, a hammered dulcimer concert, and s’mores on the patio.

Tomorrow's blog will be on the long anticipated "Entrance Day".  Anna really enjoyed the day!!